Depression Virus

Suppose to go out this morning, but I feel very sad and down. So I decide to hide in my dumpsite. Why am I so sad? I don't know. Maybe I know the answer but just pretending don't know.

I persistently feel sad, anxious, empty, worthless, helpless, hopeless, pessimism, fatigue, and slowdown. This is all the signs and symptoms for depression incase you don't know. So am I suffering from depression problem? I don't know. But I do know I have this same feeling for so many years and it seem that it won’t leave me so easily. It just come and go from time to time. Maybe my CRT head is infected with depression virus. Maybe I should try to use an anti-virus to fix the problem, so I can live a happier life after that.

But why should I try to cure my depressed personality if I can direct it to a proper channel and make great use of it? Just like robo no1 told me before.

"Most great artist and musician suffer from depression problem as well. But they channel their depressed feeling into producing a masterpiece of music or artwork"

Why most great artist will suffer from depression? Is it creativity must come together with depressed personality? If yes, is creatitivity a gift or curse? I have so many questions, but all is not important now. I just need to accept who am I myself. Accept the fact that I might have some depression problem and try to make good use of it instead of resisting it. I am strange isn't it?